What can I do to fix my relationship?

First you need to sit down and write him a letter. Say that you are leaving him and then with calm rational detailed words tell him why. You need to be very open and NO BEATING AROUND BUSHES. (I don't know if you have this problem or not but many women do to some extent or another). You need to remember that men are stupid and need things spelled out for them -often MANY times- in a RESPECTFUL way : ). It sounds like he is trying to be nice to you and keep the marriage good by suppressing all the things that bother him and using the diary as a release valve. But you cant fix what you don't know so in actuality this is very destructive to marriage and he NEEDS to know that. Make sure that every thing important to you is in that letter (ie how his behavior makes you feel worthless that when he won't tell you whats wrong it makes you feel like you have to walk on eggshells). Then pack your bags and leave. Go see a counselor and get help because you need to know how to talk to men even if you are perfect men are still from Mars and they still see the world through blue glasses. If he decided that he wants to fix the problems then give him a chance (if he will agree to go to counseling as well). If he really loves you and wants to be with you then he will if he doesn't then you are better off finding that out now and getting out of a destructive relationship. This is unacceptable behavior and he needs to know that. Men are very ego bound and need unconditional respect but that doesn't mean that us women don't need unconditional respect as well. Also I highly recommend reading some good books on the subject for both of you the book Love and Respect, shaunti and jeff feldhahn wrote a great pair of book called for men only and, for women only, The proper care and feeding of husbands by Dr Laura also Brian Tracy wrote Reinvention how to make the rest of your life the best of your life, which in spite of the fact that it is not a "marriage book" is an excellent read for anyone who wants to do better in any area of life in fact if you don't read any others read that one.