How can I deal with this?

Me and my wife have been together 4 years, married for 2. I thought she was the woman of my dreams and that we told each other everything, but that is far from the truth. About five months ago, I was home and got a phone call that said my wife had left her wallet at a clinic. I asked her why she was there and she completely snapped on me and said it was none of my business, then she left. I followed her to the place and waited for her to come out. We had a huge argument. I accused her of cheating and catching something behind my back but she said we'd discuss it another time. Later that night, she confessed she was pregnant and getting an abortion. I was so pissed. How could she not even tell me about this? About her pregnancy?! A few days later, she slipped out of the house and got the procedure. We did nothing but argue for a month. In one blowout, she admitted that wasn't the first time that had happened. I was so angry, I just got in my car and drove around all night. I eventually went home, but we didn't talk for days. When we did talk, she confessed to me that she didn't want kids ever, wasn't taking birth control like I thought she was, and over the past 2 years had gotten 3 other abortions. I'm not pro-life or anything but that made me sick. I mean, why put yourself through that? I screamed at her "Why not just get back on the pill?". She told me she couldn't handle the side effects so she just stopped. I feel so betrayed. We talked about having kids before we got married and now this. Its like she's not even the same person. I can barely look at her now. I want kids someday and feel like she's kind of taken that away from me. I know this relationship is over and neither of us is trying to fix this but I'm in a lot of pain right now. So, how do I deal with this?